{"id":762,"date":"2010-02-25T15:26:24","date_gmt":"2010-02-25T21:26:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/snarkysquab.com\/?p=762"},"modified":"2010-02-25T15:26:24","modified_gmt":"2010-02-25T21:26:24","slug":"kids-are-weird-thursday-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/?p=762","title":{"rendered":"Kids Are Weird, Thursday edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recurring conversations we have had in our house of late:<\/p>\n

During lunch (dinner, snack, breakfast, etc.) …<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> [BURP] Oh! Excuuse<\/em> me! Tee hee! (She actually says “tee hee.” And covers her mouth coyly with her fingertips. My eyes could not roll any harder.)<\/em> Mama, I said ‘excuse me!’<\/p>\n

Me: <\/strong>Good job, honey.<\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> [BUUURP] Oh! Excuuse<\/em> me! Tee hee!<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> (warningly)<\/em> Honey …<\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> (trying really hard to push another one out)<\/em> [BEHHHP] OH! EXCUUUUSE ME! TEE HEE!<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Look, let’s not try<\/em> to burp, ok?<\/p>\n

Hatchling: <\/strong>But I say ‘excuse me,’ Mama! I have big burps!<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> Yeah, it’s good to say excuse me, but don’t make<\/em> yourself burp, ok? Just, uh, let them come out naturally. (Because that’s a phrase a three-year-old will get. Definitely.)<\/em><\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> Okay, okay, OKAY, Mama. (Brief pause. Takes large, airy gulp of beverage.)<\/em> [BUURRRPP] Oh! Excuuuse<\/em> me! Tee hee! That was a big one, Mama!<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> (slowly bangs head against table)<\/p>\n

——————————————————-<\/p>\n

Before nap or bedtime …<\/strong><\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> do you want to wear your socks to bed?<\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> One sock. (sticks out foot)<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> …<\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> Take-a off, Mama.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> You just want one sock off?<\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> Yes. Take-a off DIS one.<\/p>\n

Me:<\/strong> (takes off sock) Really?<\/p>\n

Hatchling:<\/strong> Yes. There. ALL better.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recurring conversations we have had in our house of late:<\/p>\n

During lunch (dinner, snack, breakfast, etc.) …<\/p>\n

Hatchling: [BURP] Oh! Excuuse me! Tee hee! (She actually says “tee hee.” And covers her mouth coyly with her fingertips. My eyes could not roll any harder.) Mama, I said ‘excuse me!’<\/p>\n

Me: Good job, honey.<\/p>\n

Hatchling: [BUUURP] […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[11,34],"tags":[74],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/762"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=762"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/762\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.snarkysquab.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}