This hungry all the time shit is getting STUPID

As of tomorrow Hoss will officially be 15 weeks old, which means his/her mommy, aka moi, is sort of looking forward to this much-vaunted “honeymoon trimester” that has all the mommy guides waxing so goddamn lyrical. Now is when the nausea is supposed to dissipate, right? And I’m supposed to start craving food rather than […]

Zonked.

So, in addition to the crappy corporate job that I now have to keep at least until the hatchling comes (why do sucky jobs so often come with good benefits?), I’m also the artistic director of a small theatre company. And, oh yeah, there’s that dissertation I’m supposed to be finishing. The three positions (cubicle […]

Naughty

I’m having a coke with lunch today.

Sooooo much sugar.

Sooooooo much caffeine.

Sooooooooooo good.

It’s possible there may be times when I’m a slight pain in the ass

Last night. Dinner.

Mr. S.: Honey, what do you want to eat?

Me: I don’t know … what are you eating?

Mr. S.: I can make whatever you want. How about pizza?

Me: Mmmm … no ….

Mr. S.: Pasta?

Me: … that doesn’t really sound good either …

Mr. S.: Grilled cheese? Soup? Mac […]

The Squotient Triangulum, Part II

Yesterday, we covered the origins of the Squotient Triangulum; today I’m giving you a detailed guide to the three major types, so you can see where you and the people and things around you fit!

Squabby: Squabs tend to be very easy-going, mellow people. Highly cuddly, they thrive on sensual pleasures (eating, massages, music, basking […]

The Squotient Triangulum, Part I

Why, you might ask, is this blog called the Snarky Squab? Believe it or not, it’s not due to a strange affinity to baby birds. No, the story is much more complex than that …

When I was in grad school at UC Santa Barbara, I lived in a cute little bungalow in downtown Santa […]

Want. Waaaaaaaaaant!

This morning my friend Lori sent me the link to Celebrity Babies, because she knows I am a WHORE for celebrity gossip, and will spend endless hours pleasurably engaged in reviewing picures of Britney-spawn or pondering the likelihood of a Brangelina baby in the offing. But what really cranked my engine was the links to […]

Practice Makes Perfect

I’ve recently come to the inescapable conclusion that the primary function of most pregnancy books is to make me feel like a bad person. I’m serious. Oh, they come on all soft and squabby, with their pastel colors and their pretty line drawings of perfect expectant mothers with perfect little fetuses inside grade-A wombs. “Pregancy […]

Gadgets

I just got an Eddie Bauer water bottle from Target.

Mr. Squab calls it my sippy cup.

It is teh cool.

That is all.

Parenting? I can’t even handle pet ownership!

Mr. Squab and I have two cats, both mine from before we got married. One of the cats, Max, was diagnosed with feline diabetes about two years ago, and ever since he’s needed two insulin shots per day, in addition to special food and generally more attention. This routine usually sounds like a lot of […]