I write letters

Dear Minnesota,

WTF, Minnesota? Really? Snow TWICE before the first two weeks of October are up? That’s how you’re gonna play it this year? It wasn’t bad enough to have one of the coldest summers on record, you gotta fuck up autumn, too? You KNOW autumn is everyone’s favorite season. Don’t give me that look. […]

Tired.

Well, hello. Ahem. Anybody still out there? Soooo … it’s been awhile. I guess I needed a break or something. Actually, that would be “or something” because it’s not so much that I needed a break from blogging (I mentally narrate my day in blog posts; it’s sad) as it is … other stuff. Part […]

Status updates I have considered putting on Facebook today

Elise has really had it.

Elise swears to god, if she hits one more red light she is going to hurt someone.

Elise is reaching the end of her tether.

Elise would sell her ovaries for a kid who sleeps and/or does not scream at pitches just below what only a dog can hear.

Elise […]

Daily Inventory

So far today, the Hatchling has:

1. Pushed one of her friends at playgroup;

2. Thrown sand in the face of another friend;

3. Pitched fits about various trivial things;

4. Peed through her pull-up and all over Mr. Squab’s recliner (the fourth such incident in two days).

I think the age of three is […]

The image of grace and dignity

You know what makes an outing to the park on an absolutely lovely spring day somewhat LESS enjoyable? When your nearly-three-year-old makes one of her patented breaks for freedom combined with an attempt to steal another kid’s ball, thereby making it necessary for you to leap up, nursing baby still attached to your left boob, […]

Kids = Stress, Parenting = Anxiety

OK. So, we’re back home and starting the process of getting used to being a family of four. The good stuff: I totally missed the Hatchling (and the feeling was definitely mutual) so it’s been good to be back at home and get some snuggle time with my first baby. Baby 2.0 – let’s call […]

Final Countdown: T minus 3+ days

Under normal circumstances, I think I’m a fairly patient, even easygoing, person. However, as has been extremely well-documented on this blog, normal circumstances do not include the late stages of the third trimester. Which is why if I ever chance to meet Fate in a dark alley, that motherfucking bastard had better WATCH HIS STEP, […]

Not fit for public consumption

Oh, y’all. I am so bitchy and irritable. Today marks the two week countdown: assuming nothing happens early, we’ll be greeting kid 2.o sometime around 1pm two weeks from today. Which means I should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, right? The pregnancy is almost over! I should be happy about […]

Calgon, take me the fuck AWAY

So the stomach bug recurrence only lasted 24 hours, thank Maude, which meant that after an evening’s hard labor cleaning the public areas of the house, the Hatchling and I were able to host playgroup this morning, and very much enjoyed a mellow morning with some of our favorite moms and toddlers. (Well, the moms […]

No, no, no, no, NO

You must have misheard me. I said “NO MORE viruses”, not “Please send me a recurrence of the stomach bug.” You have to LISTEN.

My kingdom for a main floor bathroom. Argh.